Below are questions and our responses to Family Law frequently asked questions that we have found to be very common from people going through the divorce process or other family-law related issues.

FAQs - Family Law

• What can I do to stop the divorce if I don't want one?
• How long will the process take?
• Will the Law Offices of Donald Kilmer represent both me and my spouse in an uncontested divorce?
• How much will this divorce cost me?
• Can I communicate with your office by e-mail?
• If I am the primary caretaker of our children, will I be required to return to work?
• What documents should I bring to the first meeting with my lawyer?
• Do you require a retainer?
• Does sexual preference and/or sexual orientation matter during divorce proceedings?
• I know that my income and property are a proper subject for disclosure during my divorce proceeding, can my ex-spouse require the disclosure of financial information about my new partner and/or spouse?
• Will a judge have to hear all the intimate and financial details of my family life in order to make appropriate Family Law Orders?
• What happens during a divorce?

What can I do to stop the divorce if I don't want one?

California is a no-fault divorce state. For all practical purposes, that means one spouse can unilaterally terminate a marriage based on "irreconcilable differences."

How long will the process take?

Both parties must be a resident of the state of California for six months, and a resident of the county in which they filed for divorce for three months, before a petition for dissolution of marriage can be filed. Once the process begins, the soonest the court can grant a decree (judgment) of divorce is six months.

Will the Law Offices of Donald Kilmer represent both me and my spouse in an uncontested divorce?

No. There are firms in the Bay Area that practice "collaborative law" in which both parties are represented by one lawyer knowledgeable about family law who can draft agreements and court orders for them. The Law Offices of Donald Kilmer does not currently practice in the collaborative law area.

How much will this divorce cost me? (Also see our Cost Estimates page for more explanation)

The Law Offices of Donald Kilmer charges an hourly rate for the services performed by our law office personnel.

• Attorney charges an hourly rate of $300 per hour for all time spent on the case. This includes phone calls billed at a minimum charge of 1/10 of an hour ($30). Short letters at a minimum charge of 2/10 of an hour ($60). Court time is charged for actual time spent to attend the hearing, this includes travel time from "portal to portal". We do not seek reimbursement for bay area travel costs (i.e., parking, tolls, mileage, etc.).
• Paralegal time is billed at an hourly rate of $125 per hour. Paralegal handles all routine motions, disclosures and discovery. Responding in a timely manner to all requests made by the paralegal assigned to your case will reduce your costs and help move the case along in a timely and cost-effective manner.
• Clerk/Secretary time is only billed for special projects at $50 per hour. Examples of special projects include:
1. Organization of new file after a case is transferred from another office
2. Large copy jobs
3. Retrieval of a file from storage
   Routine correspondence with client (enclosure letters, setting appointments, etc.) by Clerk/Secretary is not billed to client.

Can I communicate with your office by e-mail?

Yes. We prefer to have you open an e-mail account that is used exclusively for attorney-client communication in your case. We can send and receive documents in the Adobe (pdf) format. You can elect at the time that you retain our office to use this as your sole means of communication, or as a supplement to the US Mail.

If I am the primary caretaker of our children, will I be required to return to work?

Unless your children have special needs, or you are disabled, you should prepare yourself now for returning to the workforce. The concept of a primary caretaker for an intact marriage has limited value for a judge making a custody/support decision about divorcing parents. The divorce, by its very nature is a change in the status quo. The children, especially young ones, will need to maximize their time with both parents in order to preserve the sense of safety and security that they knew when the marriage was intact. There are special circumstances for which a judge will not require a parent to return to work. But as a general rule both parents will be required to contribute to the support of their children. Child care for working parents is a component of child support and will be addressed under the family code as a support issue.

What documents should I bring to the first meeting with my lawyer?

We can provide you with a comprehensive list during your initial consultation or shortly after you retain us. The short list is: copies of all deeds, copies of all mortgage statements, copies of all property tax statements, copies of your latest tax returns, copies of all bank statements, copies of all credit card statements, copies of all retirement accounts, copies of all vehicle registrations, copy of any prenuptial agreement, copy of any written agreement between you and your spouse, copies of all insurance policies including health insurance, copies of any trust instruments and or wills, and copies of any documents relating to a business owned by you or your spouse.

Do you require a retainer?

Yes. We usually ask for a retainer of $5,000 to begin divorce proceedings. Based on our experiences this is the minimum amount necessary to begin a divorce, and see it through to uncontested resolution. If the total time expended to complete the divorce is less than $5,000, you will receive a refund when the case is closed. If the time expended to complete your case exceeds $5,000, you can either replenish the retainer or pay your balance in full upon receiving the monthly statements from our office. We accept all major credit cards.

Does sexual preference and/or sexual orientation matter during divorce proceedings?

No. It has no bearing on dissolution proceedings. It has no bearing on division of community property. It is possible that the other parent may try and make this an issue during custody proceedings, but the law in California is well settled that sexual orientation is not a factor that can be considered by the court for determining custody and visitation.

I know that my income and property are a proper subject for disclosure during my divorce proceeding, can my ex-spouse require the disclosure of financial information about my new partner and/or spouse?

This is a complicated question. It depends upon the financial entanglement you have with your new partner/spouse. The issue arises under the marital standard of living for spousal support, and income available for child support. This is an area of family law for which a lawyer's advice is particularly essential.

Will a judge have to hear all the intimate and financial details of my family life in order to make appropriate Family Law Orders?

A judge does not have to hear ANY details about your life in order to make appropriate orders. It is possible to submit orders to the court that have been agreed to by the parties and that the court will sign as a routine matter of course. Most family law cases settle after the parties have had an opportunity to gather sufficient information to make an informed decision. With regard to custody matters, mediation is required by state law. In other words the parties must meet and try to come to an agreement about what is in the best interest of their children regarding custody and visitation. If the parties cannot come to an agreement the court will begin a process of assessment and/or evaluation before there will be a custody trial. A similar process occurs with regard to financial issues. The parties will be required to make good-faith efforts to resolve their financial issues before the case will be set for trial.

What happens during a divorce?

Most divorces follow the following time line:

1. A petition for dissolution is filed and served on the other spouse.
2. A response is filed by the person who was served with divorce papers.
3. If appropriate, one party or the other seeks temporary orders. These temporary orders will provide for the temporary custody in care of the children, require that certain bills and expenses continue to be paid (i.e., mortgage, insurance, health care premiums, etc.). These temporary orders will also provide for temporary spousal and child support. Temporary orders may also address one party's need inability to pay attorneys fees while the divorce action is pending.
4. The parties will begin the process of mediation to attempt to reach a permanent custody order. If they are unsuccessful at process of assessment/evaluation begins before the court will set a custody trial.
5. The parties will begin the process of disclosure/discovery to determine the community assets and debts.
6. The parties will be ordered by the court to attend a Settlement Officer Conference for the purpose of trying to resolve simple financial issues.
7. If any remaining financial issues cannot be resolved, those issues will be set for trial after one additional Mandatory Settlement Conference with a judge pro tem.
8. Whether by trial, or agreement, a judgment of dissolution will be entered which dissolves the marriage divides the property and provides for the custody in care of the children.
9. If a divorce is particularly complicated, or will take a long time, it is possible to get an early judgment of dissolution only, with the court reserving jurisdiction to resolve custody and property issues later.